New Year's Resolutions Don't Work. And Technological Devices Make This Even Worse. Here's Why And What To Do About It.
There is a difference between dreamers and doers. The cheap dopamine hits dreamers rely on don’t work long-term. They destroy your life. You want the real deal—reshaping the future instead.
January 2024 - We are only one week into the new year and statistically 23% of people already have given up on their New Year’s resolutions. 43% will have quit by the end of January. The new habit they wanted to form, all the exercise they said they intended to do, the diet that always starts tomorrow… Let’s face it: New Year’s Resolutions don’t work. They never will. And technological devices are putting fuel into the fire.
During the run-up to Christmas and New Year, the pressure people imposed on themselves was just wild. In Japanese culture, they've got a term for this craziness: Karoshi = Overworking to death. It felt like the plan was to grind away almost to the brink of exhaustion before Christmas, then try and enjoy your family time till the new year kicks off, only to stumble again while trying to achieve those new year's resolutions they say you ought to have.
Adding insult to injury, in our hyperconnected world, all our technological devices constantly bombard us with
things to be afraid of—'Last chance, don’t miss out on this opportunity!'—
things we should be ashamed of—‘Will you not be able to lose this weight again, loser?’—
or things to be excited about—‘Imagine how good you will feel and what your peers will think when you can finally buy that Maserati’—
from all angles.
My inbox and social feeds were flooded with big-mouthed marketers pouring gasoline on the fire. "Make 2024 your year," they screamed at me from the screen. Or even better, "2024 won’t be a walk in the park. Start preparing now, if it’s not already too late!"
Well, thanks a lot! On top of the pressures I already face as a business owner and the daily dose of things to be horrified about the news keeps delivering, you're tossing in some extra pressure right before Christmas.
I would say, modern society adds two more elements to the principle of Karoshi:
death by information overload and
death by the terror of hyper-connectivity, while simultaneously starving for genuine connection with real people.
STOP. Please just stop.
Never Voice A Negative Without A Solution
There's a principle I really like for handling distress effectively, but it goes against what algorithms push for— as they thrive on negativity, controversy, and conflict. It's this: Never express a negative without offering a solution.
And no, the solution is not signing up for your sales webinar before midnight with a nerve-wracking countdown added until the deadline's over.
Hyping You Up, Then Smashing You Down
So, because some clever marketer talked you into it, you signed up for the gym, maybe even pushed yourself to go that first week, but then it's like it never happened. Guess who's reaping the benefits of your FOMO (fear of missing out)? The gym. Not you, not your body, not your health, not your mental well-being.
To make matters worse, lurking in your subconscious is that lousy feeling because, naturally, you’ve missed the mark again – not shedding those pounds you aimed for, not building those muscles you wanted, not finding those connections you crave.
You feel like an utter failure. And let’s face it, your subconscious isn’t as kind in its thoughts as I am right now. Those internalized voices - most likely those of your main caregivers - will take it from there.
And guess what? Social media advertisers are constantly hitting those buttons, too.
They are hammering it at you non-stop, 24/7, 365-day cycle from all your technological devices.
Exhausting, right?
They are loud, they are pertinent, they are insensitive. And they definitely do not have your best interest and wellbeing at heart. They want to sell you something you probably neither want nor need.
Shut them down!
Shut down those big-mouthed voices of your technological devices and focus like your life depended on it. I don’t know about you but for me, intense focus, putting all my energy into something, is the best feeling in the world. And I don’t let high-tech distract me from that.
Face Reality, Even If It’s Brutal, And Think Long-term, Always
“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be”*, says Admiral James Stockdale, the highest-ranking survivor of the infamous Hanoi Hilton prisoner of war camp in North Vietnam.
After enduring absolute hell and torture for 11 years, he finally made it out and got back home.
When Stockdale was asked what sort of people didn’t make it out of the camp, he responded: “Oh, that’s easy. The optimists.”*
“They were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”*
They sought solace in unrealistic beliefs they knew, deep down, wouldn't materialize.
When you want to make things real, you cannot lie to yourself. We can only create the life we desire with our feet firmly grounded in reality.
On this basis, we can create a long term vision AND take inspired actions steps on a daily basis.
Consistency is Key — Quick Dopamine Hits Work Against You
While taking these inspired action steps on the way to your long-term vision, consistency matters more than just doing what others say you "should" do, like hitting the gym because it's expected. That won't cut it.
Instant gratification—likes, buying stuff, chasing excitement, etc—fades fast. It's a quick fix, a way for your mind to escape. But it's no path to lasting success. Problem is, those quick fixes? They wreck your future. Real success, real wealth— meaning the ability to live the way you want—doesn't come from taking the easy route.
It's all about dedication, commitment, and giving your all. Half-hearted efforts won't get you anywhere.
And, dreaming isn't doing. Saying you'll change tomorrow or next year won't make it happen. Start today if you really want it. Not tomorrow, not next week, and not “in the New Year”.
Consistency's the game-changer. It might take time, but stick with it. Everyday is a new opportunity to push forward. Even when life knocks you down, it's about getting up, again and again. That's how you win.
‘Just Do It’ Might Work For Nike, But It Might Not Work For You — When Resistance Creeps In And Tries To Knock You Down
But why can’t we just do what is good for us? Often times, we're totally aware of what we ought to do, but somehow, we end up not doing it. Like, we get that we should eat well, but we end up devouring way too many sweets or sugary drinks. We know we should be working on that report or proposal, but instead, we find ourselves stuck in another Netflix series. We see the perks of exercising, but hey, scrolling through social media while sitting down feels more appealing.
I used to believe that if you do what you are meant to do, you’ll get into the flow state and things will come easily. That’s what they tell you, right? But I've encountered a strange phenomenon: The more dedicated and committed you are, the more resistance you face when creating something new—both externally and internally.
When I read Steven Pressfield's amazing book "The War of Art," it hit me: he explains in detail that resistance is not only very powerful, but totally normal! What a relief! I used to think something was seriously off, but nothing went wrong. Resistance is just a normal reaction to great endeavours. Take a second to let that sink in. For me, it changed everything.
Resistance is not your enemy. It actually shows you the way. Work with it, instead of against it.
Long-term Thinking — The Key To Lasting Success
In a world of instant gratification, long term goals and growth are almost frowned upon. But studies show that long term thinking is the key to success.
Yet, EVERYTHING is working against it. Emails, meetings, zoom calls - a 1001 distractions. We are bombarded with constant overstimulation offering us an easy escape from the pain of focused work.
There's so much around us nudging us toward short-term thinking and tempting us with instant rewards.
Social media and the internet have messed with our long-term thinking and our ability to focus deeply on what’s in front of us.
So much so, that Steve Jobs, who sold millions of phones and tablets, banned his own kids from using them! Then there's former Facebook executive turned big-shot investor Chamath Palihapitiya, saying we need to retrain our brains for the long haul. His advice? Ditch those social media apps altogether —they're like wiring your brain for lightning-speed reactions.
We must resist this temptation and boldly and rebelliously think long-term.
From My Heart To Yours
I will not tell you to “make 2024 your year”. I want more for you. I want you to live the life you truly want to live. It won’t happen overnight, and that’s ok.
Start long-term thinking today. It’s not a sprint, it’s a lifelong habit.
But it will give you clarity and make you more happy, fulfilled, and successful than ever. This year, and next year, and the year after that.
To the life you want to live ♥️!
If you now decide to skip the New Year’s resolutions altogether and want to become serious about living the life you want to live instead: I have a process for that. It’s called future scenario thinking.
It’s a very effective brain trick to gain clarity, dive deep into your driving forces, create a long term vision and shape the life you want to live.
You would love to but you just don’t have the time? Let’s get it done together. No preparation for you, one dedicated hour of deep dives to face reality and create a better future every two weeks in a guided, safe environment: No rush. No stress. No overwhelm.
Toss me an email to schedule a call to talk about the options, if you like ♥️: office (at) redswan.at
The courageous win.